The Mildly Crazy Mandevilles
by orangeturquoise
Summary: All human. The boys-Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Edward-are college students in Seattle. Four extraordinary sisters are ready to turn their lives upside down. Fun and romance ensue. Reviews are very welcome.
1. Chapter 1

_**The Mildly Crazy Mandevilles**_

_**Chapter 1: **_

_*Ivy's POV*_

"Damnit, how much longer is this gonna take? I'm totally starving!"

"Pull yourself together, Neev. It's merely a matter of minutes now."

"Yeah, you can say that easily, Tan. I haven't had anything proper like all day. Why do you always have to be so damn condescending, huh?"

"And why is it that you always have to be so infantile and loud and militant and, and, and, and …"

"Oh goodness, get your act together sis…"

Not disinterested enough to tune them out I listened to my two oldest sisters daily bickering. At least there were no sharp instruments within reach. Then again Neev was a judo black belt while the rest of us were fierce pacifists (although Rhoda _does_ have a thing for knives). Speaking of whom, where was the infamous third born? I could have sworn that she had been sitting in the recliner seat just a moment ago. Ah, never mind. Rhoda can move as silently as, as a, well, uh, basically without making any sound. She's definitely got master thief qualities and it's not only being a gymnast throughout high school that did that. Speaking of which (I'm so ADD sometimes): high school. Ugh. So glad it's finally over for me too. Being the youngest always sucks some way or the other. My favorite association with high school would be hell hole, and that's completely based on experience. Though it does have a nice sound when you think about it. High school – hell hole. Very nice, linguistically speaking; it's almost poetic somehow. Anyway, I've got my diploma and a place at college with my three sisters now. The world smiles upon me, even though I had to put on that hideous snot-colored graduation outfit. I lived, so it doesn't matter now. What matters is that Nana actually smiled (very rare occurrence) as she watched me walk upon the stage (without tripping, yay!), Dad even managed to send me a card and I'm going to start college with my beloved older sisters Tana, Neev and Rhoda. The world smiles … or did I already say that? I should really redirect my concentration to the situation at hand again. I really hoped the pizza delivery guy would make it here fairly soon, or else my sisters were going to strangle each other. They were cranky like that when hungry. It's a rather un-nice personality trait. Runs in the family, nothing one can do about it. Perhaps that's why Rhoda left, to escape the massive carnage possibly ahead. Tana and Neev were still bickering, which was nothing new, but now they had started setting the table, which put them in the immediate vicinity of knives, forks and porcelain. Not good. Not good at all. It was in moments like these that I actually prayed and meant it. Apparently that's what does the trick, because the doorbell rang. I shot up before any of the other two could command me to answer the door like they usually do. Older siblings are bossy like that. It's a fact. Anyway, I grabbed a fistful of dollar bills and flew out the door, only to be met with a pair of the most amazing dark blue eyes imaginable. I kid you not. As a matter of fact I found myself dazed and confused, literally, but in a good way, a really good way indeed.

"Three Mega Pepperoni with extra cheese?" a deep, velvety voice inquired. I realized that I was probably staring like a crazy stalker. Great. The incredibly cute delivery boy raised an eyebrow at me. _Snap out of it!_

"That'll be 22, 84." He said, now smiling. _Ohmygosh_, cutest guy ever was smiling at _me_ from under his hat which bore the logo of the pizza place. He was still smiling as I handed him some bills, mumbling something like "Keep the change" without even really looking. What did such material things matter when the man of your dreams just stepped into your life? Whoa, that smile! I could totally die happy now. Then again, why die now already? My eyes roamed his muscular chest for something like a name tag, but he wasn't wearing one. Duh, of course not. He delivered pizzas on a motor scooter. It was fall. He wasn't wearing a name tag, he wore a leather jacket. Crap! As it looked I wouldn't even get my mystery man's name unless I particularly asked for it. Hey, why not actually?

"So, you from 'round here?" I attempted to make small talk. Maybe I should mention that I'm really bad at small talk.

"Um, yeah. You?" he answered somewhat monosyllabically, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, born and raised on best Seattle soil. Though actually not really born here, but that's a different story altogether." I blubbered, making a complete idiot of myself. Alright girl, you had your shot and you ruined it. "But gosh, I'm keeping you from your work. I'm so sorry. Really. Well, so, have a good one …?"

"Edward." He said, smiling again. "Good night to you, too."

"I'm Ivy." I replied rather coolly (I wish), while inwardly I was celebrating. "It was nice to meet you, Edward."

"The pleasure is all mine. _Bon appétit_, Ivy." He said and I was melting away. "Bye."

"Bye." I waved while deciding that from now on we would always order our pizzas from "Mike's Pizza & Pasta Palace". Sigh.

_*Jasper's POV*_

"Oh god, I'm starving!"

"Shut it, Emmett. There are people here who have to study." My brother Carlisle and I said simultaneously. We tend to do that a lot. It's almost creepy sometimes. It's in moments like these, when Emmett whines and my brother, the impersonation of imperturbability and placidity, gets as cranky as a pregnant rhinoceros that I wonder whether it was really such a good idea to share an apartment during our college time. I mean, the four of us have been basically inseparable since elementary school, but that doesn't grant a life in perfect harmony. Quite the opposite, mostly. I think it's mainly because we're all so different. Carlisle for example would most of the time put Mother Teresa to shame. Since that also meant he didn't pick on me when we were children I can hardly condemn him for that, but it is hard to live with a saint. Emmett looks like a well-made mix-up of an Olympic athlete and a model, so most people don't grant him massive amounts of intelligence, but he does have them. When we were in junior high he built a rocket-powered soap box derby racer out of his mum's kitchen appliances. And it worked, too. One needs a mind that is equally logical and ingenuous to pull that off. Emmett is bloody MacGyver; and an eternal child. Then there's Edward. He's our cousin and the youngest among us. He only just finished high school and enrolled at college here with us, determined to make this the best (best in this case meaning party-filled) time of our young lives so far. Last but hopefully not least: me. Yours truly Jasper Whitlock, studying philosophy and history on a scholarship that I won by knowing the difference between Thomas and Oliver Cromwell while my rival didn't, though I have a suspicion that was the only thing he didn't know. There I am. I'd be your perfect nerd if I didn't just happen to play baseball well enough to make the college's team; and to exchange the cello for an electric guitar at the age of fourteen. So, that's the gang for you.

I heard the door click. That must be Edward, ready to feed the roaring predators with Bacon Delight and Mega Pepperoni Pizza.

"Calm down, Emmett. The food is home." Edward chimed while setting the boxes down on the table. He was downright giddy, which was odd. Usually he'd be completely pissed once his shift of dealing with nosy customers who either had only large bills or small change was finished.

"Dude, I love my job!" he exclaimed while flopping down on the couch. Now this was so incredibly odd that even Emmett stopped stuffing his face for a brief moment, and that's got to mean something.

"Edward? Are you alright? Did you maybe catch a cold? Do you feel feverish?" Carlisle inquired. He tends to ramble when he's worried.

"Guys, just chill. I feel splendid."

"Then why the sudden change of mind? Normally you're glad it's over for another day."

"I know, I know, but today I have experienced the upsides of the whole ordeal." Damnit, why did he have to make such a bloody huge mystery of it? He downright enjoyed that stuff.

"Dude, we're not gonna sit down, braid each other's hair and discuss our feelings, so spill it or we'll make you." I half-threatened and abandoned my only half-done essay on Machiavelli and his influence on absolutism in the 18th century to join the merry round.

"Alright, guys. Then listen up now. As you know in my job I get around town a lot. There are many odd people, and I mean _many_, but sometimes there's this one in a million, a diamond in the dirt so to say."

"And?"

"And due to the nature of my job I have her name, phone number and address."

Stunned silence filled the room before everyone started shouting at once. For the sake of simplicity I am not going to elaborate on who said what and how. It's gonna be just who and what.

"Are you telling us you fell for a girl you delivered pizza to?"Emmett.

"Are you developing crazy stalker tendencies now?" Carlisle.

"Edward, look at me. You're insane." Me.

"Geez, what are you waiting for? Spill. We need more details." Emmett.

"Did you even have anything that could remotely count for a proper conversation?" me again.

"Come on! Name, age, height, eyes, hair, voice, what kind of house was it? What was the pizza? We're waiting." Carlisle. (Who'd have thought he was so excitable.)

"Does your mystery woman at least have some equally as captivating sisters or friends?" Emmett.

"Damn, Emmett, how would I know?" Edward. Right. Damn, Emmett, that question really hit a nerve. We could lie to the world, but not to ourselves. Deep down inside we were just four lonely men, disappointed by previous relationships (yes, Lauren, I still think you're a bitch), too caught up in jobbing and studying. Let us wallow in our self-pity and bang our heads against the walls. Seriously, how hard can it be to find a girl that has more depth than a puddle on a hot summer day? It's not like we were expecting someone like Marilyn Monroe (for the looks), Marie Curie (the brains), Mother Teresa (kind-hearted and caring) and our mothers (seriously, Mom's simply the best) all rolled into one. At least I wasn't. given the choice I'd most likely go for brains, because in a serious relationship I need someone I can actually talk to, not only someone to look at and show off, which is what Emmett would most likely go for first. Though then again it must also be said that if a girl isn't able to hand it to him intellectually he'd drop her just as quickly as he picked her up. Carlisle, I assessed needed a girl that was above all as friendly and compassionate as he himself. Since his high school sweetheart Angela died in a tragic car accident he hadn't seemed genuinely interested in anyone, even though Emmett, Edward, our oldest sister Rosalie and basically all our mothers had conspired and tried to set him up with basically every half-acceptable unmarried female they knew. That's a lot of cousins, friends, friends of cousins, friends of friends … you get the general idea. I didn't envy his situation then.

Well, at least now Edward had his mysterious wonder woman, and if it was only imaginary, who cared?

"You know what? Just call her, and if she by chance has any sisters or friends who happen to be single, nice, smart and pretty you know what to do." I suggested with a smirk.

"Yeah, and now spill the good stuff." Emmett urged. My brother and I both rolled our eyes at him behind his back, not believing how girlish we were behaving.

"At least there's no pedicure involved." Carlisle mouthed and I grinned.

_*Neev's POV*_

What a jerk! No, seriously what an immature asshole. Who does this Mike New-something person think he is? Through almost the entire business finance class I tried hard not to get up and break his nose on the table. I'm no saint, but I won't be taking anger management classes _again_. They aggravate me. Still, I needed to punch something. Irate, and apparently with that murderous look in my eyes that seemed to miraculously part the crowd around me on campus, I made my way over to the gym. It wasn't even that far and somehow I still managed to pass by all three of my sisters in the hallways, even though each of us had completely different classes. Tana was training to be a vet, Rhoda was into arts and Ivy did languages. Nothing anywhere near my business, finance, marketing and what-not classes. Well, whatever. Fuming I entered the dressing rooms and got changed into my shorts and tank top. Dear god in heaven, I was pissed. I really needed to punch something urgently, maybe kick it a little, too. Carelessly I threw open the gym doors and walked right into something that was too soft and warm to actually be a wall, not that there should be a wall directly behind the doors. That would be silly. I glanced up to be met with a pair of incredulous dark eyes, set in a face that was framed by thick black curls.

"God Damnit, you darn fool! What are ya blocking the darn doorway for like that? Get out of my way!" I snapped, releasing the best part of my bottled up anger onto the guy and roughly shoving him aside. God, this town must have a 90% jerk quota in its population.

_*Emmett's POV*_

I was just about to leave the gym when one of my team mates whom I've just been doing some weight lifting with called out to me. Naturally I my head to hear what it was he wanted when I felt the door crash into the wall forcefully and felt something bumping into me. Glancing down I was met with a pair of blazing grey eyes and a harsh verbal assault, but the latter couldn't really faze me much. _Holy crap_, was all I could think as she angrily stormed off. Holy crap, those legs were practically endless and toned to perfection, her hips swayed energetically, as did her wavy strawberry blonde hair that was done up in a messy ponytail. Holy crap, she looked like a damn supermodel. Where_ had_ she been hiding all this time?

_*Jasper's POV*_

It had been a few days since Edward had first encountered his 'future wife', but he hadn't yet mustered up the courage to actually call the girl. As an effect he was brooding, and when he's brooding he's simply impossible to deal with. He gets almost as bad as me then. In order to escape his moods and because I needed a few materials for some research I had made my way to a book shop with a renowned history section, plus it had an attached record store. Heavenly. What more could I want?

So I wandered along the countless shelves, overwhelmed by the sheer mass of titles. I had a list of what I needed but got sidetracked every few feet, pulling out books that looked interesting but lacked any relation to what I was searching for. I couldn't help it that I found the hundred years war just as fascinating as the Spanish and American civil wars. And then all the works about philosophy, political science, art, architecture, the great classic novels! It all constitutes to my nerdiness.

The place was actually huge, but since the best part of the available space was filled by miles of bookshelves it created a sheer labyrinth. As I was meandering the wisdom-filled walks I was too amazed to pay close attention to the ground before me and ran into something pretty hard. The something was another shelf and the impact sent dozens of hard cover volumes cascading down on me. Ouch! I'm in for some nasty bruises from … Rosamunde Pilcher novels? Okay, that's a detail I'd definitely keep out of any descriptions.

"What the heck is wrong with you? Don't you have eyes or what?" a voice that seemed too low for a woman yet still too high for a man gruffly exclaimed from above me. I do admit that I had expected a little more compassion for the throbbing pain that was currently building up inside my skull. With what must have been the expression of a martyr I glanced up. And was instantly stunned. She was staring me down with an unreadable expression. Thick-rimmed glasses of the 'mousy librarian' kind framed her piercing silvery-grey eyes and her lips were pursed tightly. Her hair, which was a dark burgundy color, like wine, was pulled back into a messy ponytail with a few strands sticking out waywardly, effectively framing her face. She had features like a character actress, not complying with the cliché of shallow everyday prettiness but rather more fascinating and complex. It's difficult to describe, but I'll try it anyway. Her lips seemed almost too full for her face. Her cheekbones were high, very pronounced and elegantly chiseled, giving her a kind of sophisticated air. The nose had an ever so slight crook that made for a charismatic profile and the eyes, more silver than grey, sat under heavy, sensual lids with voluminous black lashes.

"Done gawking now?" she snapped, making me realize that I was still sitting on the ground in a pile of books.

"Uhm …" I uttered. Gosh, I am so witty when paralyzed with awe. "I'm sorry for the mess." I added sheepishly, turning my head a bit to the side in order to examine the damage I'd caused. She inhaled sharply and muttered something incomprehensible under her breath.

"Are you alright? Do you feel dizzy?" the sudden change from annoyance to concern confused me.

"Pardon me?"

"Holy crap, that's … oh damn, oh damn. TANA!" now she was getting fidgety, yelling for someone on the top of her voice.

"What's the matter?" I asked. Actually I was feeling increasingly groggy and my vision was getting a bit blurry now.

"Just … just don't move. Don't you feel that?" she replied, gingerly touching the side of my head. Her fingers came away bloody.

"Ugh!" at this point I have to admit that the sight of blood, especially my own, makes me feel incredibly dizzy. I had to choke back a gagging reflex and I was sure my face was white as snow right now. "Oh dear."

"Exactly. _TANA! Quick!_" she yelled even louder than before. A slightly shorter maroon haired woman jogged around the corner. "What is it?" she anxiously asked the red head.

"What took you so long?"

"I got a call. Ivy's managed to perforate herself. Again. What's the matter here?"

"Damnit, it's not our day today. So you're going to pick her up and get to the hospital?"

"Yes."

"Can you take him, too? Busted his head open on Tolstoy." The red-haired woman said while motioning towards me. The name Ivy rung a bell somehow, but I couldn't really concentrate right now. Before I even knew what hit me (no pun intended) I was being hoisted to my feet by both women and ushered through the store and out into the parking lot. My head was now throbbing viciously and I had developed at least triple vision. I'm not quite sure about that though because always when I attempted to count the world started spinning around me. The maroon haired woman named Tana was speeding relentlessly as far as it was in the confines of traffic regulations. We picked up a shorter and younger girl with caramel brunette hair who had her right hand wrapped in a dish cloth which was slowly soaking with even more blood. I felt my stomach churn at the sight. Then the casualty express took off again at breakneck speed.


	2. Chapter 2

_Catch-up:_

_The maroon haired woman named Tana was speeding relentlessly as far as it was in the confines of traffic regulations. We picked up a shorter and younger girl with caramel brunette hair who had her right hand wrapped in a dish cloth which was slowly soaking with even more blood. I felt my stomach churn at the sight. Then the casualty express took off again at breakneck speed. _

_**Chapter 2: **_

_*Carlisle's POV*_

Just when I thought today's shift at the ER where I worked as an intern couldn't get any more stressful the universe decided to teach me better. In fact I think my heart skipped a beat when I saw my brother stumble in the doors dizzily, the blood streaming down the side of his head. He looked horrid: pale – more like the ghost of a ghost – and as if he'd throw up any second. Of course, all that blood would have that effect on him. Often enough he faints at the mere thought of it, yet red is his favorite color. But that's Jasper for you. The boy is full of contradictions.

He and a light brunette girl with a makeshift bandage consisting of a soaked dishcloth were being ushered in by a third person, also a young woman, who didn't seem to be hurt. Said lady now energetically walked over towards me, all the while pulling the two invalids with her.

"Excuse me, Doctor, but these two need immediate attention." She addressed me.

"Certainly." I said while handing her a handful of the obligatory forms. Then I turned to my brother. "Do I even want to know?"

He just shook his head no weakly, trying to smile reassuringly, though it looked rather pained.

"Oh, you two know each other?" the slightly older and shorter of the two women asked.

"That's my brother." Jasper and I explained simultaneously. Surprised looks from the two females.

"Well, let's get the two of you patched up again." I said and led them to a treatment room. I called for our uncle who is the head physician of the ER to have a look at Jasper while I carefully removed the dishcloth from the young girl's hand. She had a big, nasty stab wound in her palm. One could actually see right through to the other side. The other woman, who I presumed to be her sister by the way she acted and from the fact that she was much too young to be the girl's mother, flinched at the sight, but didn't say a word.

"How'd you manage that, um, Miss …?" I asked.

"The name's Ivy and I slipped with the knife." She answered me with a sideward glance to her sister, who immediately snapped: "You're not supposed to use the butcher knife!" though the concern in her voice was apparent.

"It's worse than it looks … I think." I tried to calm her while washing off the partly dried blood. I would definitely need to sew that later, but right now it was also important to calm the people with a bit of cordial small talk.

"So now I know what you did, but how'd my brother manage that? The way I know him it was probably something silly like walking right into a massive structure."

"A book shelf." The older woman replied absentmindedly, then, realizing what our words had been looked at me wide-eyed. "Are you psychic or something? How'd you guess that?"

"He's my brother. I know him." I answered, casually shrugging it off. Actually I was surprised by my own accuracy. It's not like that had happened before … that often. Jasper behind me scoffed and whimpered in pain at the same moment.

"You're going to have to stay overnight for observation. We need to run a few tests as well. You want to call your parents?" our uncle calmly assessed.

"No, that's okay. Oh wait … darn, someone needs to tell Jim I can't be at the club tonight."

"True." I replied. Just for explanation: our very good friend Jim, actually James Laurent, was born and raised in deepest Louisiana and through some warped and twisted ways ended up here in the high north, where he owns a club called "The Eclipse". Now the special thing about this club is that the four of us, being the loyal friends we are, provide it with live music on the weekends. Emmett's on drums, Edward works the keyboard, I played the bass and Jasper is our guitarist and lead singer. Now it's Friday evening and him being ill poses a not so tiny problem. That realization being made I reacted the following way:

"Damn!" I huffed, holding back another string of completely inappropriate curses. "We can't play without you!"

"Sure you can. Ed takes the guitar and you sing. You don't necessarily need a keyboard. It'll be fine." Jasper replied calmly, or was it weakly? However I didn't agree.

"Is there really no way at all…?" I began, but was interrupted by our uncle, who was decidedly putting out all the authority he could muster, which is a lot.

"No he cannot, Carlisle. Your brother has a concussion and he will stay here overnight." Of course he was right. I should know and instantly felt very rotten for endangering my little brother's well being for the sake of my own social insecurities. Very anti-hippocratic of me.

Meanwhile the two females had witnessed our exchange somewhat bewildered. Yet the older one, who took the chance to introduce herself as Tana, was very sympathetic and tried to downplay the situation by asking me what we had meant. I told her about the club while stitching up her sister. As soon as that was done Ivy timidly spoke up to ask about Edward, whether he had a job delivering pizza, which I found odd at first. Where would she know that from after all?

"Of course! Ivy! Now I remember." Jasper then exclaimed, earning peculiar looks from us. "Your last name's Mandeville, isn't it? And you live in Privet Drive, right?" both was confirmed by confused and slightly creeped out nodding from both females.

"Don't you remember, Carlisle? The girl Ed's been swooning about ever since recently? It's her!" my brother announced giddily, an effect I blamed on the painkillers he'd gotten, and looked rather pleased with himself. Ivy went multiple shades of red, but couldn't hide a very smug grin spreading on her face. Her sister's features lit up with a sort of knowing look and a very mischievous glint in her rather pretty grey eyes.

"Did he really…?" Ivy asked softly, apparently undeterred by the fact that just a moment ago she'd had a coin-sized hole in her hand.

"Has hardly talked about anything else lately." Jasper answered with that wicked expression I knew so well from dozens and dozens of childhood pranks. It's his trademark scheming face. He most definitely was planning something.

_*Rhoda's POV*_

After a long afternoon filled with re-organizing tons of books into shelves and worrying about the shop being sued by this half blind dreamer I returned home to the usual war zone. It's pretty much routine by now. In that Nana is sitting on the couch gossiping/complaining about neighbors/ bossing everyone around. Tana then bosses around everyone who happens to be younger than her, Neev does the same and so the scheme continues. In the end our uncle, who also owns the book/record shop in which we all so gladly let ourselves be enslaved, is charmed enough by the last in our sisterly line of duty, Ivy, or took enough pity on us to take onto himself the strenuous task of preparing something edible for the clan. If he can't make it we usually order take-away. Ivy seems to be especially keen on pizza lately, by the way. Only today she had managed to severely mutilate herself again and thus was huddled up against Nana on the couch with a giant mug full of steaming tea, but because her hand was covered in thick white bandages she couldn't quite hold it and balanced the mug on one knee, which looked rather dangerous. There was no unnerved yelling from the kitchen area, which was odd. Thinking about it today was completely anti-routine, not that this would necessarily be a bad thing, but it's slightly disconcerting in a way. I think it's the silence that did it. Our two eldest sisters could have well murdered each other for all I knew at this point. Staying true to the motto `Àlways expect the worst and you shall never be disappointed´ I entered the kitchen to find … it utterly and completely empty. All appliances and furniture were still there of course, but no people where there should be. Maybe Nana and Ivy did already get rid of the bodies or the two were considerate enough to kill each other somewhere none of us would have to clean up the mess. Then again that's not like them at all. Just when I was about to check upstairs for any traces of possibly fatal fights Tana and Neev came barging in the door, not strangling each other but giggling giddily and each with an armful of clothes.

"Did Britney cut her ear off or why are you in such high spirits?" I asked, unable to hide my irritation.

"No silly, we're going out tonight." Neev `Party Empress´ Mandeville aka sister number 2 declared while sifting through a lot of her very skimpy manhunting dresses.

"Where to?" I asked on, wondering about … well, just wondering really.

"Oh. Yeah, boss, where to?" Neevy asked Tana. Odd. Weird. Strange. And bewildering. Normally Neev was the one to know the places to be. Tana is such a bore in that aspect, even though behind that mature, responsible, sensible façade she's quite wicked, make no mistake.

"A club downtown I heard about today. It's called "Eclipse" and they have live music all weekend. It's bound to be fun, guys!" Wow, she was very keen on going, really _very_ keen. She'd even dug out her tight as black leather pants and was now holding up a top that just screamed `desperate´. Given that and the fact that our youngest sister was spilling her tea in a fierce giggling fit led me to the following combination: "Please don't tell me it's what I think it is, but you probably met someone at the hospital you fancy, by some chance you got into a conversation and he'll be at that club tonight and you want to drag your poor, unsuspecting sisters with you for moral support. Am I right?"

"My, what a sharp mind you have Miss Marple." Ivy said between giggles as Tana turned a deep shade of magenta.

"Oh, I see, "Neev began, by now also grinning wildly and rubbing her hand gleefully, "an apple a day keeps the doc away, but if the doc is cute to hell with the fruit."

Visibly annoyed at being found out this easily Tana huffed and threw herself down on the couch.

"Oi, come on. We'll come as well, but only under one condition: you're not wearing _that_!" I soothed and pointed at the hideously unclassy outfit she had assembled. "And you," I continued with a glance at Neev's clothes pile, "Um, we'll see to that later." As long as she wouldn't be mistaken for a hooker I supposed it should be fine. "Let's get a bit tarted up!"

"Ivy's not going." Nana stated matter-of-factly, effectively putting a considerable damper on our collective excitement.

"Why? That's so unfair!" the little one complained.

"Because you're injured and not yet legal drinking age."

A great deal of wailing and protesting began, but Nana remained firm. Ivy wouldn't leave the house without her permission. Eventually we all succumbed to the decision of the grand matriarch, Ivy gave us her blessing (`_No really, it's okay. I'll make her watch this French chick flick with me. In French. Oh, sweet revenge!_´) and so Tana, Neev and I got ready to have loads of fun and a good look at the subject of Tana's future dreams.

Gladly I managed to talk Tana out of that transparent blouse and into a flattering emerald top that makes her eyes sparkle and got Neev to wear a dress that covered more thigh and breast than it revealed while still enabling her to shamelessly show off her cheerleading steeled body. She now wore a heavily sequined turquoise neck holder dress with sash and looked ridiculously glamorous. How she manages never to look over- or underdressed will forever be beyond me. I sported ordinary grey jeans, my favorite dark lavender top and beloved leather jacket. Surely looked rather plain in comparison, but decided that I didn't care at this time of year.

With the clear intention of arriving at our destination still in one piece I then snatched the car keys and we headed out. No offence, but Tana I suspect secretly dreams of dominating the NASCAR series and Neev thinks rules are there to be ignored anyway. Plus she doesn't think very highly of any gear other than the third. Seriously, she doesn't even fancy second and can only bear it as long as she can go into third asap. Five is right out, even for going over 100 mph (aka her usual comfort speed) and I think we have been watching entirely too much Monty Python movies as children. Mark my words: we have not been raised normal. But ah, what the heck.

The club, once we found it, looked nice enough, with a certain understated Rock'n'Roll aura and a large blue neon sign above the entrance. Neev, who has never done anything subtle in her life, immediately dragged us away to a table right next to the stage. Once we were settled with our drinks and waiting for the band to ascend the stage Tana casually asked whether I'd like to know what had become of my Tolstoyan casualty. Didn't quite get why she should think I cared that much and said that if something had gone awry I trust she'd have told me and shouldn't I be more worried about our sister who stuck a 5 inch knife through her hand? Tana then got very fidgety and mumbled something that I interpreted to mean `rather nice, cute too and had been absolutely awed by me´. Think she's had one too many Gin Tonic already and will be dancing on table with number 2 in less than an hour, a kind of behavior that would be hugely embarrassing had we been brought up in any conventional way.

_*Neev's POV*_

Very good idea of oldest sister as unknown club proved to be prime hunting grounds. Gosh, I'm _so_ tired of pimply, self-immersed college boys! Or hunky, self-immersed college football jocks for that matter. Being a cheerleader apparently means having a bull's eye on my back that is visible solely to quarterbacks. Will get wasted tonight and acquire at least five numbers. Now too early for promised band but sisters getting increasingly high spirited with each passing Gin Tonic, Martini, Tequila, Long Island Ice Tea, Alabama Slammer or Cosmopolitan. Great night so far. Took on task of bringing new rounds to our table for opportunity to charm bar tender/club owner who's a very bad boy type with long blond ponytail and tattoos peeking out from underneath tightly fitted shirt. Nice and funny southern fellow though. Sports extremely sexy southern drawl. Overall assessment: Yummy!

Band just ascended stage, which brought strange glint to eldest's eyes. Must say they're rather good and make nice atmosphere. Especially drummer boy very hunky and hugely ravishable, although somewhat familiar. The other two are too scrawny for me. Never mind, as am going to bribe band members or club owner for playing more up-beat numbers. Either that or applying my old bullying skills. Feel urge to dance wildly in order to distribute alcohol evenly throughout body.

Ouch! Ouch, ouch and three times double ouch with a sprinkle of extra ouches for good measure. Totally lost track of last night after mixing fourth Alabama Slammer with fifth Long Island Ice Tea. Am now back in my own bed, though have no recollection whatsoever of how I got there, and find myself hypersensitive to all kinds of noises in a three mile radius around the house. Moaned loudly in absolute hung over agony to catch someone's attention. Tana came with smug grin on her face, though looked like recovering from considerable hang over herself. Said my head would crack open and all the mushy remains of my brain spill out if I didn't get a Xerox, Xanax, Prozac or whatever that stuff's called.

`Aspirine?´ she offered sympathetically, shining in all her medically trained glory. Nodded weakly and asked for catch up on previous night for after regaining full consciousness. Feeling very dysfunctional at the moment so will gather Mandeville private zoo (1 dog, 2 cats, 4 rats and 1 rabbit) and lie back down with mega bucket of chocolate chip ice cream and coke and watch all episodes of Boston Legal. On second thoughts may leave out Rhoda's rats, as they're too small and lively, their tails are way too furless and Rhoda will be very ratty with me if I let them get into close vicinity of chocolate ice cream again. In that case she might not feel very inclined to tell me every detail about last night, which is not my intention. Need to know in order to prevent information being used against me in twisted and unforeseen ways. Firstly must get my hands on water and aspirins. Lots. Of. Aspirins. Ouch!

_*Emmett's POV*_

Had thoroughly enjoyable evening despite missing our band's leading man Jasper. Carlisle wore a very cheesy grin all night and kept sending smouldering looks towards a petite sweet-faced maroon haired treat in front row. Noticed Strawberry Delight from gym (for that is what I've nicknamed perfect supermodel girl who nearly shoved me to the ground then) being with her and a red head. Red head looked kind of grim, though is also very sultry type and admittedly has tremendously nice butt. She might very well be Jasper's type I think. Went on shooting grim and introspective glances around room but loosened up as soon as music started and Carlisle decided to start off with `_Seven Nation Army_´cover. Saw Strawberry dancing on tables later on. Seemed to be enjoying herself, but I don't think she recognized me at all. Seemed especially to be enjoying herself big time around 2 am when she was making out with heavily tattooed patron at the bar. Felt a little jealous then.

Maroon praline chatted up Carlisle at first break, seeming more than a little tipsy. Seemed to know each other already, though apparently not that well. Went on to whispering just after a few minutes and both seemed very eager for Edward not to understand them, which is decidedly odd. Carlisle wore trademark Whitlock scheming face after that. Established that Carlisle hadn't filled us in on whole story and will demand change of that status or threaten to never repair anything around apartment again. Also decided to chat up goddess-like Strawberry Delight as soon as she'd have her lips to herself again. By that time she could hardly even sit on the floor anymore without holding onto something, so might not remember my feeble flirting attempts. Assessed that this in itself is not a bad thing since I made a complete moron of myself.

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_Next installment, you know the drill: suggestions, feedback, questions, comments - all very welcome. Reviews make my day, extra-nice ones (nice in this case predominantly meaning constructive) make my week. Maybe also take a vote at the poll on my profile, pretty please. Make your voice count! _


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